Celebrity Deathmatch: Zelda Battle of the Sages
by DaMimster
Summary: Welcome to Celebrity Deathmatch: Zelda Battle of the Sages! The 7 sages from OOT battle it out in the Deathmatch Ring! PG-13 for Violence, Gore, and some Language. R&R PLEASE!


Celebrity Deathmatch: Battle of the Sages  
  
Disclaimer: For all you folks who think I own the characters of CDM, are wrong... Also, for all you fools who believe that you created The Legend of Zelda, including me, you are WRONG! The fine people of Nintendo created and own all rights to the name. I am just a lowlife who wrote a Celebrity deathmatch Parody on his computer at 7AM, BECAUSE HE WAS BORED AND DIDN'T WANT TO SLEEP... Ahem... to the story...  
  
Anyway, It's Just Clay!  
  
Folks, you're in for a treat tonight. For the first time ever on Celebrity Deathmatch, 4 matches!   
There will also be another first. Winners from the first three matches will be restored to 100% to battle in the 4th match!  
  
All tonight when we welcome to...  
  
CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH: ZELDA EDITION  
  
Johnny Gomez (JG): Welcome folks to Celebrity Deathmatch! I am Johnny Gomez, and sitting next to me, as usual, is Nick Diamond. Tonight is a night for firsts as we welcome to...  
The Legend of Zelda Battle of the Sages!  
Nick Diamond (ND): That's right, folks, all your favorite Sages from the game, Ocarina of Time, are going to battle here tonight!  
It's your basic tournament setup with 3 matches, 2 combatants each match. The winners will advance to the first 4th match of CDM, where they will battle in a 4-way dance! The 4th combatant will be announced at match time.  
JG: That's right, Nick  
The way these matches were determined were by random selection earlier today. We have 7 sages; only 1 will walk out tonight alive!  
  
Match 1: Our first match will feature Water Sage, Ruto, taking on the Light Sage, Rayru.  
Match 2: Our second match will feature Shadow Sage, Impa, taking on Fire Sage, Darunia  
Match 3: Our third match will feature Forest Sage, Saria, taking on Spirit Sage, Nabooru.  
Main Event: And our final bout of the night will Feature the winners on Matches 1, 2, and 3, along with the 7th sage in a match that could only take place in the...  
DOME OF DEVASTATION!  
  
ND: Now with that out of the way, let's get to the first match.  
JG: Ruto and Rayru are now entering the ring. And to make each match interesting, a flip will happen at the beginning to determine a setting for the match.  
  
-In The Ring-  
  
Mills: Call it Ruto.  
Ruto: Tails  
  
-Cut to a catapult holding Link for the flip-  
  
Mills: PULL!  
  
-Link flips up into the air, and falls on his head-  
  
Mills: Heads, set up for Rayru!  
  
ND: Ok, folks, the ring is now going to set up as the Chamber of Sages in the Light Temple. What's unique about this setting, is that whatever Sage plate you stand on, you can't control of that temple's main weapon for one hit, and is returned to it's plate.  
JG: Right as always, Nick, and it seems like the ring is set up for the first match!  
  
Mills: Let's have a good, clean fight.  
Let's get it on!  
  
-Ruto runs over to the fire plate, and pulls out the megaton hammer-  
  
Ruto: Hey, fatty. You may of have given Link his first medallion, but you'll never be able to screw him!  
Link: -Groggy from the fall, outside the ring- Why would I?  
  
-Ruto runs over to Rayru and smashes him over the head with the hammer, which then disappears.  
  
Rayru: I can't believe you hit me with that hammer.  
  
-Ruto runs over to the water plate, and pulls out the longshot, she then climbs the nearest turnbuckle-  
  
Ruto: Hey fatty, hope you don't break the ring with what I am about to do!  
  
-She pulls Rayru up with Longshot, which then disappears. She then picks him for a power bomb, and is successful-  
  
ND: Who knew that this little fish has that much strength!  
  
JG: She does seem to know what she is doing to this poor Light Sage!  
  
-Ruto then runs over to the forest plate, and then over to the fire one, causing the arrow in her bow to be a fire arrow-  
  
ND: Good combo there by Ruto, who brings the Fire Arrow into play.  
  
-Ruto shoots the fire arrow at Rayru, which hits him in the gut. This causes about 100 lbs of fat to melt off him-  
  
Rayru: It took me 4 years to get that fat on me!  
  
-Ruto then runs over to the Shadow place, grabs the hover boots, then climbs the turnbuckle-  
  
Ruto: Poor Rayru... Looks like it make take another 4 to get it back. Won't matter... when i'm done with ya.  
  
-Ruto runs off the turnbuckle, floats for 4 seconds, and does a cross body slam on Rayru. Ruto then runs over to the fire plate once more summoning the megaton hammer-  
  
Ruto: Fatty, you never had a chance against a poor, defenseless, little "fish" like me, eh.  
  
-With that, Ruto smashes down on the exact spot where Rayru's heart lays, causing it burst apart all over Ruto-  
  
Ruto: Good thing I am not afraid of water.  
  
Mills: And the winner is... Ruto!  
  
JG: Well, Ruto won't need that much restoring for the Main Event tonight, just a quick shower.  
  
ND: Well, Johnny, 1 match down and only 3 more to go tonight! We'll be back after this break, look for Chapter 2 to appear later! 


End file.
